afraid

since sam has moved out, i am now afraid of more things than i know what to do with.

bridges -tunnels- open spaces- flying-

it's bizarre.

i noticed this new level of fearing yesterday on the bus. we had taken our seats several stops back, i had been stewing overwhelmed wonderings concerning the tunnel and the enormous bustling city on the other side when a girl my age hopped on to the bus with a suitcase in hand. immediately i recalled the numerous times i traveled through the city to get to some other location via grand central. i don't recall being afraid- i recall feeling edgy - brave-determined.

now- i worry.

i wonder if it's the birth control.