currently

currently i am enjoying not taking birth control-
i worry about getting pregnant
i worry that i worry too much (now i can't blame any altered hormones)

but i say that i am enjoying it
i am certainly enjoying having energy
you know the kind of energy that comes from being active-
a perpetuating energy

i didn't have the perpetuating anything
except for perpetual eating and sleeping

sam says i should allow myself 9 months to lose the weight i have gained.

good idea

but i feel stuck