New Year's Ramblings

Reading former blog posts is like meeting an old friend. I forget that I set out these dreams and visions for the next year, and yet when I reread them I can see how life has matched these dreams in some way. Not in an eerily psychic way, but in a your-visions-are-so-broad-anything-could-come-true kind of way.

From last year, I wanted to think more about my theory of education. And here is what I have learned, my place in education is not what I was planning. I have a different role to play as an educator. I have to do some work now to figure out what that role is, and I am very nervous about this. I am anxious about the next year.

I have also been reminded of the unjust ways that the public school system works and am thinking about how to work in that field to level the playing field.

From last year, I wanted to work on health. We got the Wii after a convincing evening with friends. Weighing in has been a good process for me to be involved in. At first I hated it and it could drive me up the wall, but after working for 9 months or so, I can see trends and I have more realistic thoughts about my body.

I still need to change. I need to lose weight. I think that is a short-term change. I need a boot-camp. And then when I "come back" I could resume most of the habits I have now just with less fat on me.

But, Sam and I have continued to develop healthful habits. We cook our own meals most night and we take our own lunches most days. Working out comes and goes, but there is a general bent towards working out.

From last year, I wanted to develop my sense of God. What I meant was that I wanted to be more and more aware of God in my life. Not necessarily refining what I believe, just remembering that God is there and active would be a good step. After visiting home for Christmas, I was able to see more clearly the faith that I grew up with. I could see with an observer's clarity the thick, deep roots that my growing up faith gave me. It has given me a firm foundation, without which I would be lost and adrift. But I have changed, and I do not believe exactly what I was taught; I have come to a place of deeper peace about that.

Also as I contemplate transition, I remember God. I am forced to remember that this place is not my home; and that as my grandmother prayed: "Lead them in the right way. They will not go the wrong way." Remembering that each day will be quite important. There is much that I am unsure of in the coming months. God knows, and God is faithful.

I am reminded of the family verse for this year. Jose and Sarah chose from Psalm 31, "Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of Truth."


I am thankful for:
Sam - I am growing in my appreciation of my partner daily. He is patient with me when I don't have the energy to talk. It has been our whole marriage that I have felt drained from spending energy elsewhere, and he has loved me in spite of that. He gives me logical perspective and we laugh together.

Close friends- I love the ones I am with!

House- It still hasn't fallen over! And it feels more and more like a home. We had a splendid garden this year and we are living in the space making it feel like our home.