always wanted to get married-

i doubted that it would happen

worried it wouldn't

but then ... sam

i wore my grandmother's veil- and my other grandmother's pearls

i know now that i spent too much time worrying about me and not enough time listening to their stories

3:40

it's 3:40 again.

i know why i keep waking up.

i worry.

and the stupid part is, i selfishly worry.

i don't worry for the well-being of others.

i worry about how i will look- if i will be liked- if i will be appreciated.