Another year in the garden is about to start!

We have had the roof of the shack's porch removed, and our yard looks enormous! We might even plant grass.

These pictures have been on the camera for a few weeks; already there is more growth than is captured here.

I am a gardener! Not a good one, but a passionate one.

After the Storm

They talk about the calm before the storm, but I find I can never take that calm seriously. The calm that I long for is the calm that infuses the hours after a storm.

This morning our backyard is infused with this calm. This morning I am overcome by this calm.

I would not call it peace. Peace to me is brought on by inner decisions. Peace is deeper than calm.

Calm is the very still waters of your soul and mind because there is nothing left to stir the waters, and finally, finally, you can look up and see that for this moment there are no more waves. For a minute you can rest and breathe and realize that the storm is over.

Maybe it's these moments of calm that will grow in to peace. I start to realize that the storms make me stronger; I realize that I am still loved.

Cleaning Early on Saturday

It is amazing what a little cleaning can do.

You might be tempted to think you hate your house. But then you clean it, purge the white noise, and all of a sudden, it doesn't feel so bad any more.

The house is really teaching me so much. Like how do you have high expectations, work towards a goal but know that the goal won't come around for years and decades and maybe never.

Ideal Days

It is hard for me to say exactly what I want to do each day.

I know that I enjoy meeting goals. I like a pragmatic product at the end. Something concrete.

I would like reading and writing and talking with people. I would like to interpret and help implement. I can see myself writing curriculum and implementing it.

Maybe 2 days a week of people. 3 days a week of research, reading and writing.

I am not sure about data entry. I enjoyed statistics. I like playing with numbers. I would like to know more about that. Interpreting statistics and making effective plans. Then there would need to be a follow up to make sure that curriculum is meeting needs.

I also know that part of me doesn't care what I do during a day, as long as there is forward movement. I have cleaned toilets, painted rooms, written curriculum, taught children and have felt good at the end of a day.

I should think back to the curriculum days; I need clear goals and a structure. Feedback at points- obviously more at first than later.

What do you want to do?

So what do you want to do?

Well I want to .... these ideas really excited me.

I hear that you like our mission. What do you want to do day to day?

I don't know.

Snow

Friends

From the outside looking in...

I think this is one of the self-involved things I love about friends. They give you a moment, a script, with which to see/narrate your life from the outside looking in.

Sam asked me the other day what I talk about with my friends. I couldn't really answer. I had been out on a walk for 2+ hours with my good friend, and I couldn't really recall what we had discussed.

It hit me today. Friends get excited about your life and remind you to be excited about possibilities. They don't worry about the same things Sam and I think of.

One of those weeks

one of those weeks where your body feels the stress a bit later than your mind.

So in church my muscles are twitching and tensing; during the hymns and readings I practice deep breathing and intentional relaxation.

In church I am reminded to be stouthearted and that someone knows my tomorrows.

How does one change their mind?
How do you go from anxious to confident?
How do you remember that your ideas matter when you are thinking of starting a new project?

Other people are thinking too!

Well grounded

My First Kitchen
Simple Mom

Vision

Health- Lose weight, the ground work has been done and now it is time for results.

God- "Into your hands I commit my Spirit, redeem me, O Lord, the God of Truth."

Family and friends- Communicate at least sporadically with family and friends who live farther than "around the corner".

Future- One step at a time remembering that God is leading the right way.